Edited transcript from a talk given in January 2001.
13 Nov 1989 I was at Uluru with a group of men who'd come together to explore the interface of shamanism between black and white men in this country. That had come about through my work with Suryiamorti (aka Greg Snowdon) who had been training at the CHT for a couple of years and had gone back to live in Alice Springs. In conversation I had said to him, "What about we bring together a bunch of whitefellas who are interested in shamanism, and we hang out with some of these old blokes, these sorcerers and indigenous magicians and songmen of great degree?" And so he had a chat to some of the Pitjanjarra old men and decided that that concept was a goer. So on the 12th. Nov we flew into Alice Springs and the next day we went down there to Uluru.
That was the first time I'd been to Uluru and it was quite extraordinary to see its immensity, just how big it is. And we decided that we were going to walk around it. Now in preparation for the trip I had assembled my best shamanic gear. I had my shearer's boots re-soled, as they were starting to look a bit tatty and I wanted a decent pair of soles on the old boots. As we were walking around my feet got more and more sore, to the point where I thought that I just couldn't keep walking on them. Now it was quite a warm day, but in the background there were rumbles of thunder. I said to one of the chaps who was with us, Leo Pellich, "Come on Leo call the storm up, youre a bit of a nature boy, you know, just bring it on " So he did his best and the storm came a little closer. Finally I decided that I wasn't going to walk anymore, my feet were too sore and I said to the others, "You blokes just keep on walking around and later on when you get to the vehicle come around pick me up again. I'll sit on the side of the road. Where we stopped was quite close to a men's sacred site and that had been fenced off. I thought this is pretty appropriate. I thought I'd find a nice rock overlooking the sacred site, and I did and I lay on the rock and the storm was starting to happen, and I lay on the rock, stretched out my arms and said "Well here I am, give it to me".
Now for 13 years I had been exploring the shamanic way and for several years from about 1986 onwards Rachana had been saying, "When are you going to start teaching men?", and I would say, "I'm not ready yet." She was teaching Women's programs and she would say, "When are you going to start teaching men?", and I would say, "I'm not ready yet," and again would come, "When are you going to start teaching men/ I'm not ready yet." would be the reply. I'd had a whole variety of openings, some of which were extraordinary profound for me but I still didn't feel ready. In one of those in 1986 I'd had a time in a meditation group (I was also studying Rajneesh Psychic Massage) when for about 20 minutes in meditation Buddha had descended upon me and it was just totally extraordinary. That experience changed my whole energetic structure. What I mean by that is that after that overshadowing I could no longer work physically the way in which I used to. I couldn't throw jack hammers around, and toss heavy mud bricks. Something in my energy had become much more fragile than it had been previously. When it occurred the overshadowing was so profound that other people felt it and several women who were next to me in the group, prostrated themselves at my feet, kissing my hands, and saying "Buddha, Buddha, Buddha!" The echoes from the overshadowing had resonated through several people. Normally each Christmas and each Easter there were quite profound things that would move in me and a lot of that had to do with connecting with a Being that was, for want of a better word, "the Coming Christ." In 1983 I'd had an encounter with that Being when I had been tripping off into various states of the universe. The way it presented itself to me was that I came across a huge fleet of starships and my initial response was "Heey, this looks pretty good". But the closer I got to it the more profound and intense the energy felt, and as I started going in towards where the centre of that energy was coming from various things in me had to drop away to go closer. I reached a point where I could only go into the next layer of that energetic field, if I opened my heart and if I surrendered myself totally to that energy, which I did. I surrendered to be absolutely and fully of service, to do whatever I could to bring the energy held by that being onto the planet. When I did that a type of merging with that energetic form took place. I was filled with so much energy. The only way my database could make sense of the energetic form was to translate it into a 3ft high black robot out of which this immense amount of love was coming. So I guess my master is a 3-foot high black robot. And it was just beaming it in. The closer I was getting the more I was just dissolving and surrendering, dissolving and surrendering and opening and the love was just going in and in and in. I said, "Yes, yes, yes, Ill do whatever you want, Ill be of service". The only reason I ever took Sannyas was because the first time I ever seriously listened to Osho, who was talking to some Sannyasins whod just taken Sannyas, I just started to open into the energy I felt coming through him, and it was the same as what I had experienced with that Being. I thought " If its on the planet coming through someone I want to be in on that." So the next day I went into the Osho Centre and said," I want to sign up for sannyas what do I have to do?" And they said,"30 days dynamic meditation". So thats how Osho got in on the trip and how I got in with him. The immensity and the beauty of having elements of that energy and that Being already incarnated on the planet, I had to follow that through.
So I was lying on the ground, just near that big gum tree outside of the caravan, and my body was not just shaking but undulating with the intensity of the energy I was experiencing. I tried to anchor that into the earth and offload it into the earth, but it just kept getting stronger. I tried to send it out psychically to friends who I thought could help hold it and it just kept getting stronger. Soon I realised that if I could not offload that energy out of my body I was going to have a stroke, I was literally going to have a seizure, my body couldn't hold it. I pondered this situation rather quickly and I realised that if I treated my body as a programmed and programmable biological unit then there would be a way of switching that energy off. So I imagined across my 6th chakra a whole set of control panels and I flipped the switches from on to off and within about 90 secs I went from being further out in the universe than I had ever been, and filled with this totally extraordinary energy where I felt endangered as far as being able to continue to survive, to being absolutely straight, not a shudder in my body. Lying on the ground outside the caravan.
So I in a way, that is, my energetic system had been prepared through a series of expansions to be able to take very intense amounts of energy . I'd done 7 yrs. of yoga, been meditating for a long while, done a whole pile of breath sessions. The first breath sessions I ever did with Stan Grof opened me into the state that, from the traditional model I would call, Heaven. Totally filled with the bliss of God, I had healing Angels ripping through me, I looked at my hands and realised that I could heal, I had access to all knowledge that ever existed so I didn't need all my philosophy books, I could sell them. And I knew that my life was going to be different. Looking back on that experience it was the entry into what I would now call the 5th dimension, that space where there is no time, where you are in the moment of the Eternal Present and the Eternal Presence and where you are in a space of immense love and the boundaries between oneself and the All that Is, dissolves. Over the years what I have come to see is that there is a series of progressive initiations intarted to kick in. The lightening flashed seemingly very near by, the thunder ripped along and then it seemed as if the lightening hit into my base chakra. It was as if this immense force hit into my base chakra and suddenly I had this huge amount of electrical current ripping through my body and then the lightening and thunder would come again and it would come to the second chakra and then on to the third chakra. So imagine a storm where youve got lightening and thunder and then BANG the first chakra rips open and youre filled with that and then BANG the second chakra rips open and then BANG the third and so on. At this point I thought "Shit! I could die", and then I thought," Ive waited all my life for this, so lets go." Into the forth, then fifth chakra, into the sixth, into the seventh and I was out of my body and I went out past where I had previously journeyed in terms of the encounter with that Being of whom I spoke of earlier. A fascinating thing occurred at that time. Along with my consciousness leaving my body I also experienced a Cherokee medicine man, about 6 foot 2, also travelling out. That is a quite complex phenomenon that I shall leave to another time.
So in journeying out lying on the rock, I went past where I had ever been and past where I had maps for and so I dont actually have memory of what I experienced. I couldnt hold whatever the encounter was with the way my mind was developed at t was inside me and it started to teach me. It taught me of its function as a translator of universal energies that it anchors onto this planet. Of how it takes energies of love that havent been on this planet yet and makes them available on this planet. Of how during Lemeurian times the light bodies of the Lemeurians were able to travel on the energetic rays that came from Uluhru. Of its functions in Atlantis, of how the ships of light were able to travel on the light grids that existed between there and other points on the planet, Mt Wellington in Hobart being one of those. The first time I ever went to Mount Wellington I went with Kasrat and his former partner Suparni. As we got over the hump down to an area called The Lost World I could feel that it had been connected in to Uluru in Atlantian times and I could to see into the ethers and start to see the ships coming in. I looked down and could see a rock that was vibrating. Pulsating in and out. Kasrat and Suparni had been there before and I asked them to look at the rock and asked what was it doing and they said, it pulsating. So they were actually able to see into that realm themselves at that time. The way the dialogue between the spirit of Uluhru and me happened was that a question would arise in me and the spirit of Uluru would literally imprint the answer, the vision of the answer would just come to me, a movement backwards and forwards between different forms of consciousness. I was totally in awe of that whole experience. Some time later I made my way over to the road to wait to be picked up. The bus didnt come until quite some time later and when it did I stumbled into the bus and Greg was driving it. And I said to him, Hey man, I found out how to get into the mind of Uluru and he looked at me and he said; "Here have a piece of watermelon". Then we went and had dinner at a pub at Yulara. I was pretty expanded and a touch strange but got through the night and the next morning we were driving out to Katajuta and by the time I got to Katajuta I felt decidedly disorganised.. I sat in the bus while the others walked. By the time they got back I had a fairly intense fever. We then drove several hundred kilometres over incredibly corrugated roads and I was getting sicker and sicker the further we went. And along the way we stopped and Greg did some healing work on me using some Pitjatjanjara techniques. But it didnt have much impact on me. The first aid kit didnt have Dispirin. But we came across some travellers who had some, and that would help the fever for 3-4 hours but then it would rage on back again. That fever went for nine days and the only time that it stopped was when someone would come by who had a Panadol which would bring the fever down. Now during that time my consciousness was often free floating, it wasnt identified with this biological form in the same nd be available to the depth of whom we truly are. What Im sharing with you here is just the deepest truth that I know of who I am, of why Im here. I try to hide it at times because sometimes it's too demanding and too full and too magnificent and I try to be ordinary, you know. Sometimes in my forgetfulness, Id rather go to the footy and have a beer, have a bet on the horses and try to be human. But the truth of it, in the deepest part of my being, is that theres this major evolutionary project and what its meant is that I havent had much time in between lifetimes. One life would finish and Im back in again. (No vacations, so little time to unpack between them, bags are packed and ready to go.)
So a lot of these issues were unpacking for me in the desert. If you can imagine that I was lying under a big shaded tarpaulin in a sleeping bag where sometimes Id be cold so Id zip it up and Id go into a comatose states and the fever would come and I couldnt unzip the sleeping bag. Id have to learn how to operate my consciousness in a comatose body. I had to learn the translations that I had to go through to go from something akin to pure consciousness to body movement. I had each time to learn how to run my consciousness down through the nervous system so that eventually I could get my hand over to where I could unzip the bag so that I didnt cook in the heat.
What I learnt during that time was of immense value for those of you who followed. Where at times someone like Earana who journeyed out and came back in and had no sense of how to operate a human body at all. We were able to short cut that long process by teaching her how to run her consciousness down through a nervous system and how to start to re-access body memory. If you go out far enough, deeply into the Mystery, your interaction with your body memory goes, you may have no sense of how to interact with spirit and matter at all.
So, the trip in the ships peaked one night when there was a storm. I was having two different sets of information installed into me simultaneously. One in the right brain and one in the left brain. It was like having two different acid trips happening at once, with one rollercoaster going this way and the other going that way. Sometimes I have described the experience and simultaneously being on a rollercoaster and scuba diving as well. I also started to process into the genetic map of my body. I actually unleashed a genetic trigger that would have activated when I was sixty. This was a genetic trigger that activated when my Uncle was sixty and it killed him by fluid in the lungs. When this trigger activated in me I could feel my lungs start to fill with all this muck, this darkness, this blackness and not be able to breathe properly. So along with the fever I had a cough that would rack my body.
During all this time we actually had a doctor along with us on the trip, a psychiatrist who fancied himself as a shaman. But this was the acid test for his shamanic perspective and all he wanted to do was get me into hospital. And I was saying to him, "No, no, no man, this is shamanic initiation. That cough its coming from the first chakra, Ive got a purification going on down there." Now one of the things that happened after that event was that my testes shrank, they are now smaller then they were then. Something happened, some energy that was contained in the testes was being processed during that whole thing. After it was processed my testes were smaller. The doctor would do his analysis and he was very puzzled by what was happening. He said, "If youve got the cough it means there should be urinary tract infection but if you had urinary tract infection then you would have a different symptom, and you havent got that so I dont know what's going on." And Id say, "Thats because the cough isnt related to urinary tract infection, the cough is related to the first chakra, because I had very precise scanning capacities for my body. I was able to map it reasonably well but he just couldnt hear it and it got to the stage where he said, "Youve got to go to hospital or youre going to die in three days." And it was like "Woowww, this blokes trying to sing me." (Note for overseas readers, this refers to the indigenous practice of "singing " someone to death.) And the next day he walked past me and sang, "Nearer my God to thee" and I thought, "Fuck it's this whole shamanic contest. Im blowing his shamanic world apart. Hes wanting to keep it intact and hes willing me to die to keep his knowledge intact." So I had to take him on as well and it got to the stage where, if you can imagine these poor blokes that came out for this incredible encounter in the shamanic world (- which they were having but didnt realise) this process of cross cultural shamanism with these Aboriginal shamans had changed focus to where the group leader was dying! And the Aboriginal shamans had done a lot of work on me but it didn't work.
That was because it was out of their league, it was not something they were familiar with. So, eventually the paranoia in the group became such that the way to resolve the paranoia was to want to decide take me to hospital. That way they would all feel that they had done the right thing. It reached a time of confrontation where they were saying,"Youve got to go to hospital", "We want you to go to hospital" , and such like. I knew that if I went to hospital they would close me down, because sometimes I couldnt say what my name was, sometimes I was 3 years old, sometimes I was Arcantra from Arcturus, commander of this wonderful fleet of starships, other times I was free floating in the universe filled with Love.
And whats more I , the star being, was coming in to take control of this body and I was just going to walk in and the old being was going to walk out and we were going to have an ET switch over. At that time I hadnt clarified the multidimensionality of our capacity to live different existences in different dimensions simultaneously. And so the discussion came about whether I was going to go to hospital or not and I am eternally grateful, eternally grateful to Greg who when I said, "Im not going to hospital, if Im going to die in 3 days Im prepared to take my chances, I reckon I know what it is, Ive waited all my life for this experience, Im not going to close it down, if I die I die, but thats where I want to be." And he said OK; Ill support you in that. And with him prepared to support me in my journey, for the other blokes, the energy fell away for taking me to hospital.
So it reached the ninth day and we would be leaving the next day. And there was a small plane coming into a settlement about 20 km away and we decided that I would fly back to Alice Springs. That was a pretty adventurous thing given that I couldnt even walk, well I sort of could with the aid of a stick but it didnt look like walking to me. We went to where this plane had landed, a settlement Fregon , and I was sitting under the tree because the pilot was engaged in some discussion with the community. Greg said theres just this other Aboriginal fellow , a nungari, a shaman I want to see you. He brought over this 56, grey -haired, sparkly eyed old fella. He wore a hat with a band around it that showed he was an Aboriginal policeman but he was also Aboriginal lawman and Greg had spoken to him in Pitjatjanjara and explained a bit what had been going on. He came over to me and said, "Ah, look into my eyes and Hoooooollly Doooly! As I looked into his eyes, I kept on going and going, right back in there and the only thing I could see was the fires of the night burning. And I thought this is very interesting, I havent seen this in a human being before, this guy has got something going for him. And he said, "youre alright, youve got four bits of wood in you." And within that tradition thats where there is a curse in you. And he dug in and pulled the four of them out, one by one and suddenly Im was straight as a die, no fever after nine days and the fever never came back. Now some 6 months after that, I realised that the positions where he pulled out those bits of wood were the very places where the bullets from my prior incarnatory death had been, four bullets from a machine gun. I had died when I was 26 in that former incarnation and I had not wanted to die. I had not let go fully of that life and the remnants of that death was still imprinted in my consciousness and consequently were still active in my body when I went into that initiatory state.
I struggled onto the plane, got into Alice Springs, and made my way to the hotel. Couldnt get a flight for a day and a half because there was a pilots strike ( 1989). I thought,"Right I want to understand how money is created." I started to get into the esoteric processes where money is created. Find a way to get from there to here where I am and so I started to play in the esoteric casinos, the astral casinos, and had some real success and went to one in Japan, hallucinating wildly. I got into this one in Japan and by this time I had learnt with roulette the numbers that work for me. And I won all this money. I had to up to the window to collect it, you have to get your photo taken to collect it, they took my photograph and nothing turned out, there was no image. And suddenly this bloke says "Ninja!" and everyone ran. But I thought OK Ive won all that money on that level, it's already ours, now all I have to do is find the conduits to get it from there to here. I worked on that and Id thought that I had managed to set the conduits up so that when I got home, for about the next month I would get Rachana to check the bank to see if it was in there. It was a particular form of shamanic idiocy but worth a try!
When I got off the plane in Melbourne. Rachana immediately saw what had happened and she was just wonderful. She brought me home, put me in the caravan with blue sheets on the bed and blue crystals. For a month I just lay there recuperating. One of the impacts of that tremendous in rush of energy was that it sent my heart totally out of balance. I had tachycardia; my heart rate would go up to 150, 160 and for 20 minutes not come down. I had to learn how to track what was moving in my feeling life that would activate the tachycardia and then to heal that at the emotional level and then my heart would come back into balance. Now during all of that time I was not only incredibly expanded but also my heart was amazingly open to the point that if I saw someone I could see their pain and I could feel their pain. I had let go of some of the normal lying niceties of human life. So I spoke about what I saw which didnt endear me to everyone because it was like, "Oh yeah, I can see youve got some pain around that last relationship you had that you havent let go of yet" as an introductory piece of conversation. On the other hand with the openness that was in my heart, visitors might come and they would burst into tears because of the beauty that was coming through me. At the same time there was an incredible sensitivity coming through me and if there was anger in the environment I would feel it as a pain in my heart. If someone was expressing that anger, it reached the stage where my heart would stop, one time it stopped for up to forty five seconds. I realised at that time that I could not live with that openness around ordinary people, that my heart could not accommodate that. One day I went into the bedroom and I just lay down and went through a process similar to putting a shield over, or pulling blind down over my heart and closed it down. For a number of years I struggled with that choice that I had made. Oh dear! I could have been a guru! That was one of the choices that seemed available to me. In that space a huge number of choices as to how I live my life was available. One of the potential choices was to go into seclusion. However, I couldnt because I wasnt functional enough to be in seclusion and to hold that space for a longer period of time. Another possibility seemed to just live from that space day after day after day, and give darshan and have people come and touch my feet and burst into tears because of the beauty that was there, etc, etc. I realised that that was a total option for me but I also realised that it wasnt the incarnatory pathway for me and in actual fact somehow being more ordinary with the love was a path I knew I had to pursue.
It took a month before I could walk with the aid of a walking stick, Id lost a lot of weight, and my energetic system was totally awry. I was extraordinarily exhausted. Id get up at 10am, do a bit, got to bed 5or 6pm at night totally exhausted. That continued for over six months. What changed it was Sunrider nutritional herbs, which came into our lives about six months later. I got my body back and functioning within 2 weeks. So I then became a businessman, developed a network marketing business and did all of that, following where Spirit was leading me. In two years we developed a business with an annual turnover of $3.6 million dollars. Then Spirit told me it was time to go back and teach, so then I went back and taught.